Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Did you notice the change? ... Do you notice change?

Do you notice change?

Do you notice new and different immediately or does it have to be pointed out to you?

I ask for a reason...

First for some fun... Did you notice my header change? It had been a while so I decided that it was time for a new header!! If you didn't notice, scroll back up and take a peak!

Second, I ask because I'm pretty observant and notice lots of details. I pick up on new hairstyles, lost pounds, new clothes and accessories, new seating arrangements, the trash can in a new place.... and on and on. It's the visual part of me I realize. That's why I was so good at the Memory Game as a child!!
And why I love putting puzzles together (as long as all of the pieces have a "home".. every piece placed on trays organized by color and picture..)

But I digress.

The reason I ask, is because I am having a hard time processing and remembering the "new" me. As one of my friends said, I need to reframe my mind.

It really is sad, but when I think of myself and look in the mirror, I still see an overweight mom who needs to lose 40 pounds and is out of shape. The other day I caught a glimpse of my legs in a window as I was going in the store and didn't realize they were mine until I got to the door and the rest of me was in the picture! Crazy!!

So to help me reframe my mind... I've gotten rid of all of my too big clothes. I gave the last of the shirts away last night. I think seeing myself in the same shirts was reinforcing in my mind that I still needed to lose the weight. I need to get a new visual picture embedded into my brain.

Part of this reframing is also in the way I view my "athleticism." I have never been an athlete. I now realize that I never really had a chance. As a junior-high student having never played youth league basketball, I was made to feel like I was inferior and not worth the effort by the coaches. I can't imagine that I would have been any good, but man, I was worth speaking too!

The problem was that my family moved to the small town where all kids played ball from before they could speak so everyone knew the fundamentals and the rules by 1st grade. I however, knew nothing. Therefore I was nothing. From that point on, my mental picture of ability to be any kind of athlete was as a failure. This was only reinforced when we started track. I was slow but had all kinds of endurance. I was assigned the mile in 7th grade and I think the 2 mile in 8th grade.??? But even then, I wasn't worth Coach Black's time.

Now here we are 25 years later and I am trying to reframe my mind. I am an athlete. By God, I ran 15 miles on Saturday, 9.5 today and will run 17 more this Saturday. But when I look in the mirror.. well you know...

That's why I'm trying to notice the changes in me. It's not easy to reframe what has been set for so long, but I am trying.

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