Perception Vs Reality and It's impact on Self Image

I am going through the memorabilia of my childhood. I'm determined to do something with the stuff or throw it away.  In doing this, I had a little bit of a shock.

You see, I have considered myself to have been overweight my entire life. Pleasantly plump. Pudgy. I have been on and off diets since 7th grade. At this point in my life, I am completely aware that I need to lose a good 30+ pounds.

But I was absolutely SHOCKED to realize that I wasn't always overweight.

How did I come to this realization?

Well, in my memorabilia was my blue twirling costume. I wore it in junior high. Even as late as the summer before my freshman year of high school. So when I found the costume, I thought it would be neat to see Maddie try it on. I new it would be too big, but I took it to her and had her try it on.

It was TOO SMALL!!! What?

Maddie is in 6th grade and she is very thin. Besides the costume being too small all over, it was too tight around her thighs! STOP!! Her thighs? Maddie is gorgeous, long and lean. Me? NEVER long. NEVER Lean.

So I had to take a look in the mirror of my childhood and think about the fact that my child who is thin can not wear the costume that I wore. Since she's thin. I couldn't have been fat.

I know, you are all probably realizing at this point that I am crazy (if you hadn't already picked up on that). But truly, I tell you, it's rather jolting to me.  The only times in my life I have felt thin  not fat were when I was in the midst of a hard core diet.

Were do I go from here? Well, one thing that I have always really, really tried to do with my girls is to tell then that they are perfect, just the way God made them. I do my absolute best to not put my self-image problems on my children. I try not to talk about weight and diets. I talk about eating healthy and being strong. Granted, my favorite show on tv is Biggest Loser and we watch that, but I justify that with the fact that my girls are learning about exercise and healthy eating!

What does that mean to me? Big picture, not much I guess. I like knowing that I wasn't always overweight, but it doesn't mean I'm not now. But maybe it will help me to move beyond being overweight and help me to see the future with a healthy body and help me to unlock the grip I have on these extra 30 pounds.