Oh how I wish I was..

a stay-at-home mom.

Yes, I said it. 

Believe me, it’s not that I don’t love my job.  I do.
But the everyday pressures of motherhood on top of a full-time job are just about to push me over the edge.

I am well aware that SAHM’s work really hard and that they sacrifice a lot to do be able to take care of their kids themselves on a daily basis.

But there are days, and today is one of those, that I would do about anything to be a mom full-time.

What brought this on?  My one year old running a 103 fever and being dog sick and me not knowing it.  Yeah, she’s not been herself the last few days.. she just got her bottom molars and the top ones have been pushing through.  So, I thought her crabbiness was just teething issues.

But this afternoon, when I picked her up from the babysitter, you could just tell that she was really sick. And let me say this, I wouldn’t know what to do without our childcare provider.  Miss Dori is the best thing that happened to us in a long time.  She only keeps two children full-time, Kylie and a little two-year old boy that Kylie loves playing with.  So it’s not like Kylie wasn’t being taken care of.  It’s the fact that I wasn’t there.

Many of you who don’t know us might be saying, so make the sacrifice and stay home.  If only it was that easy.  You see, I’m the insurance carrier for our family.  The only way we can qualify for health insurance is through a group plan that doesn’t have a waiting period or preexisting conditions.  Doug’s job doesn’t have any benefits.  Well, he get’s a paycheck, so I guess that’s a benefit, but that’s it.

So with Maddie’s kidney disease and Doug’s high blood pressure, we are pretty much out of luck.  I have to work.  It makes me feel better on days like this cause if it was a matter of just having the “extra's,” believe me, we would move into a tiny house and just survive.

Thanks for allowing me to wallow a bit.  Surely this crazy sick season in our life will pass.

But for now, all of your SAHM’s out there, give your kids an extra squeeze in the morning, and thank the Lord that you are the one there for all the firsts, the hurts, and everything in between.