Lately it has been hard to get motivated to blog. It’s been hard to get motivated to do anything extra as there are always SO many extras going on in our house. I’ve been just kinda blah. I’m not sad, not mad, not depressed, not anything really, just kinda blah.
So I was talking with my mom about it and I realized while talking with her that maybe it’s because life for the most part for Doug and me and our peers is about raising kids. We don’t have youth on our side and do lots of fun cool things. (or any for that matter!) On the flip side, our children are young so we can’t even see the light at the end of the tunnel. By no means do I want to wish away this period in my life, but it is an in-between time that right now seems like if just might stretch to eternity.
So I am going to try and make a point to do something positive for myself (and yes, for Doug too). For example, today I had lunch with a friend. No kids. It was really nice. Later this week I might even get my haircut.. it’s been a year, and for the record, it’s not that I don’t want to get my haircut, but adding a babysitter cost to a haircut makes it a little pricey!
In the end, I know that I put off anything that is me-related. I use my spending money on my kids, even when I had been saving it for an over-night getaway for Doug and me. I give my kids and my students all of me…everyday. It’s no wonder I end up blah.
Given that my In-Betweens are going to last another 20 years, I had better figure out how to take care of my responsibilities without losing who I am in the process.
Maybe I’m the only one who has forgotten to put themselves on the list of household priorities, but I would guess not.
Sweet Emily, I remember feeling like you just described and my kids were 11 years apart! You are wise to realize that you need to make yourself and Doug top priorities. Things will be much better for you all and the kids, too. On the other hand, these years go by very fast. I can look back today and say, "What happened when I wasn't looking?" I think maybe I shouldn't have cleaned house so much -- I made that a priority -- but it is not now as anyone can attest. Then I think maybe I should not have worked, or should have worked part time, but in reality that was not an option. Steve is a teacher and we could not have survived on just his salary.
ReplyDeleteThen I look around today and see that I have raised two happy, well-adjusted people who are very kind and want to help others, and do all the time, are concerned about the world we are leaving for our children and want to make it better.
So I think things worked out quite well and they will for you too.
Love,
Your Cousin Beth (from Arkansas)
Sarah's mom
P.S.: I read your blog often.