Reality Bites

Sometimes reality has a way of sneaking up and slapping us in the face when we least expect it. Yesterday was one of those days.


I had a message from The Pediatric Pain Management Center at Children’s Medical Center. They were ready to make Maddie’s initial appointment.

It’s not that this was a surprise; there have been volumes of paperwork for our pediatrician to complete.

I’m just not ready to walk this road.

I’m not ready to accept that my child lives with chronic pain.

It’s hard to explain it. Given that we live the rollercoaster of Maddie’s health, this next step shouldn’t be a blow, but it is.

Every morning I watch Maddie to see how she’s walking. I check her face to see if it’s puffy. I do the mommy once-over and evaluate the day. I do it in a heartbeat, I don’t even think about. It’s part of the morning routine.

I guess not every mother does this every morning.

Today I am going to call and set up Maddie’s appointment. I asked her about it yesterday. She’s been doing so great the last few weeks that I had hoped she would say that we didn’t need to do it. But she wants me to call. So I will.

My child has incurable kidney disease.

She looks great.

She’s in chronic pain.