I'm not hiding anymore, and it has nothing to do with being "modest"

When I look in the mirror all I see is the fat, the extra pounds that I need to shed. I see the yo-yo diets. I see the donuts and candy bars consumed. I see the failures.

But when I look at this picture of myself, I see strength.I see hard work. I see commitment. I see the willingness to struggle time and time again. I see success. 

I see the person I want to be. Maybe that's all it takes, turning yourself upside down to see the real you.

I still can't believe I took a picture of myself in sports bra and posted it on the Internet for all to see!!! That is so not who I am. Or maybe I should say, who I was.

But I am committed to showing my daughters that they can be strong women and that their bodies are not to be shamed.

No, I don't want them running around immodestly, but I absolutely refuse to teach my girls that they have to be hidden. When we teach our daughters that they have to hide their bodies, they also learn that they have to hide their personalities, their feelings and their dreams. 

When we teach our daughter's that they have to hide their bodies, we teach them that their bodies are not worth fighting for. We teach them that their pain must be silent. We teach them that their struggles must be hidden.

Hidden means not discussed, not considered, not acknowledged.

And I am determined to break that cycle.

So I am modeling for my daughter's strength. I am teaching them to have honest discussions about their bodies, good and bad. I am showing my daughter's how to make healthy choices, and telling them why it matters. 

I am modeling for them determination, courage and sacrifice.

Because more than anything, I don't want my daughters to feel like they have to live hidden lives. Be it scars or triumphs, I want them to truly live.

Does that mean more pictures of me in my sports bra? Probably not. But maybe.. cause I'm not hiding anymore.

A Champions Finish

Last Wednesday my teacher partner Mindy and I took 11 students to the UIL State Theatrical Design contest. Every school district in the state of Texas can submit 12 students total (9 entries) to this contest. We had one student complete 2 entries which is why we only had 11 enter..

In an unheard of accomplishment (at least around here..) ALL of our entries advanced to the state round!

So, on Wednesday we traveled down to Austin for the contest. We took care of some paperwork stuff Wednesday evening and then bright an early Thursday morning the students were critiqued by the various judges. 

The judges were fantastic.. the best we have ever had. And even if our student's hadn't done well, I would say that anyway. The judges were knowledgeable and nice, but professional and tough at the same time!

After judging we had hours and hours to wait around. We could watch plays and hang out.. but we didn't get results until almost 11:30pm. That makes for an incredibly long day.

But it was WORTH IT!

We had 9 of our 11 students medal!! INCREDIBLE!  And that included TWO State CHAMPIONS!

I went and looked... Stephenville High School's Theatrical Design team is listed SIX TIMES on the state medalist sheet. Click here to see for yourself! The next closest team was listed three times.  

Yeah, we had a good night.

Here we are after the award ceremony.

And oh, yeah... coaches get medals too when you are a State Champ!

The next morning, we loaded up early and made it back to the high school ten minutes before the final bell rang for school to be out for the summer!

To commemorate the last day of school, our championships and my final day of my 30 day handstand challenge, I did a handstand at the hotel before we left.

And then on Saturday we had graduation. One of my art students (and theatrical design medalists) was the salutatorian. She even thanked me in her speech. That was really cool. Here we are before the ceremony. 

I have to say, finishing the year on such a high note is really nice. I'm pumped for next year all ready and I get all of June and July to chill. (Well, we all know that I don't chill.. but I don't have to report to school every morning!)

My plans for this summer include running, painting, cleaning house, taking 6 hours of graduate class and chilling with my girlies.

Eat to Live, My 6 week recap and the OFFICIAL RESULTS

My 6 week Eat to Live trial run is complete. It should have been complete last Monday, but since I basically took the week of Maddie's birthday off, I added a week to the complete the full six week challenge.

And here are the official results.

I lost 10.5 pounds 

(based on today's weigh-in... which is 1.5 pounds up from Wednesday.. Wednesdays are my light days.. so really, we could say that I lost 12 pounds.)

But the eye-popping changes are:

• Waist -4 inches
• Hips -3 inches
• Chest - 2 inches
• Right Thigh -6.25 inches
• Left Thigh -6 inches
• Right Bicep -1.25 inches
• Left Bicep -1.25 inches
• Shoulder -.75 inch
• Right Calf -1.5 inches
• Left Calf -2 inches

That's a total of 28 inches GoNe since April 6th.

AMAZING!!

Did you read that? 

I LOST TWENTY-EIGHT INCHES in 6 weeks.

Even better, I feel great and am committed to this lifestyle! 

Want to learn more about Eat to Live? Check out Dr. Furhman's website.

My 3 year Run-iversary!

On May 5, 2012 I decided to take control of my life. I was overweight, out of shape and tired.

These pictures are all the proof we need. (Sadly, I had to go steal them off a friend's facebook page as during this time, I didn't take pictures willingly... Thanks Hailey!)

 

I remember being excited about deciding to do something for me. As a teenager I loved running. I never ran on a team, but I ran for myself and really enjoyed it.  I knew at this point in my life, I had to do something for myself that would benefit my health.

So I bought new clothes and shoes for exercise and went out and jogged 1.7 miles at a 15:44 pace. My running skirt I thought was so cute on the rack was so tight that every time I stopped to walk I had to pull the shorts part down. At the end of the jog, the inside of my thighs was severely chafed. 

I went out a couple of more times in May and jogged, but I didn't change my eating habits. I was overwhelmed with how badly I had let myself go and just couldn't imagine that I could change
my world right at the end of the school year.

So I decided that Memorial Day would be THE DAY!

And it was.

On May 28,2012 I joined Weight Watchers.

On May 29th I ran/jogged 1.9 miles at a 14:15 pace. 

I continued to eat fairly healthy and stayed within my Weight Watchers points each week. The activity points were incredibly motivating to me and I worked hard.

By mid-June I had lost ten pounds and was exercising consistently. I even worked out while at my scrapbook retreat and jogged 2 miles at a 13:48 pace. 

And that was just the start.

By December 2012 I was down 35 pounds and I was feeling great!

At that point, I stopped worrying about the food so much and just enjoyed running.

Memorial Day 2013: I ran 4.69 miles at 11:09 pace

Here I am with Doug the first week of June 2013.

Memorial Day 2014: I ran 4.33 miles at a 10:46 pace

Here I am with Doug celebrating my 40th birthday.

Memorial Day 2015: I ran 4.57 miles at a 9:50 pace.

And here I am on day 26 of my 30 day handstand challenge. Wearing the workout skirt from 2012.. yes, that same skirt that was so tight that my skin was rubbed raw. Now I only wear it when I need a reminder of how far I have come as it is so loose that I have to pull it up every few minutes! LOVE!

I can't wait to see where I will be in 2016. With my new focus on Eat to Live, I predict another minute off my pace! :)

Finding My Palette

I have very much enjoyed learning about palette knife oil painting from my lessons with Leonid Afremov.  His style is all bright colors and very loud, and it totally works for him.  It doesn't work for me that well. I have found myself struggling with the brash reds and overwhelming colors.  I just couldn't get the color palette to work for me the way I wanted.

So, last week, I did what I ask my students to do.. I took a step back and looked at the pieces that I like the most. I mentally broke down the process and decided that my issue was all of the red in my paintings.  While red is one of my favorite colors to wear, it isn't working in my paintings!

Here is an example. 

I painted this bridge piece per Afremov's instructions.  It was a successful piece, if the goal was to do what I was told. And as a student, that is the goal. I learned the process.  But the piece just hung in my studio and in my mind it was blah.

So finally, yesterday, I changed it. And I made it mine.

I love that the reds and purples are just barely there, providing depth in the colors, but not overwhelming anymore.

I have to say, the colors speak to me.

And carrying it further, here is a brand new painting done completely without red. I LOVE it.

Should you like it as well, you can find prints of it and my other works at Fine Art America.