I've never considered myself to be a scaredy-cat.
Sure, I don't like scary movies, cause with my active imagination it doesn't take much to put myself in the movie in my head and then there is no sleep for me!
But I've never been afraid of a challenge, be it physical or mental.
But something about my body image makes me a self-conscious and ready to hide. And for the majority of my life, I have felt this way. Even as a high school student and a physically fit and active college theatre major! I've had highs, were I felt good and was willing to wear something more revealing, but for the majority of my life, I have felt the need to cover and hide.
I am learning to overcome that. I am learning to be brave. to risk ridicule and scorn.
I am learning that my daughters need me to show that I am confident in who I am. That I am brave and willing to try new things. That I am happy in the skin God gave me.
So I did something CRAZY this week.
I wore a two piece swimsuit to the community pool.
It was hard. I struggled mentally the entire time. But my little girls were so fun. When I walked out with the two piece on, Lexi said "oh mama, you look great!" and Kylie was so excited and jabbered on about my swimsuit. So I did it.
Here we are at the pool. It was just a Kylie and me day.
So... ta da.
Here I am.
In a two piece no less.
I have to say, when I look at this picture, I feel proud.
I can see every workout and every struggle in those arms and in the smaller waistline.
It's not easy.
And in case you or I forgot...
And I'm not finished. I am a work in progress.